Are You Worth Knowing?
In a recent episode of The Mindy Project (may it rest in peace), Mindy Kaling (may she live forever), as Mindy Lahiri, posed an interesting question about a character she had interacted with (and slept with) throughout the series' six-season run: Was he someone ultimately worth knowing?
That question, and the sentiment behind it, struck a cord with me, especially in recent years, as I navigate and try to understand the complexities of friendships and relationships as an "adult." (Let's be real: we are all teenagers at heart.)
What makes a person worth knowing, in a personal sense? What do they teach you? What do they inspire you to do? How do they make you feel? Do you gain anything from your interactions with them? Or are they the human version of cotton candy, all dissolving fluff, no real nutritional value?
It's funny, I often think of another writer I met on a work trip last year. We're around the same age and live on opposite coasts, but spent two days in another country together and I felt such a strange but potent connection to her. I found her interesting and interested, and told her a lot of things I would normally never tell a person I barely know, some of my insecurities and past struggles. I was surprised by some of the things that came out of my mouth, but I didn't regret any of it. It was the opposite of word vomit; it felt cathartic.
Of course, there was a whisper of a dream of forming a long-lasting bi-coastal friendship (just another example of movies instilling my tendency to romanticize anything AND everything). Sure, we like each other's filtered Instagram pics and occasionally leave a comment, but that's about it. And yet, I often think about her and the impact she had on me in those two days, more than I think about some people I've known and casually called a friend for years. It's funny how that can happen.
But the quick scene in The Mindy Project also made me ask myself a question I think I've danced around but had never really been able to articulate: Am I worth knowing?
I'd like to think so, but doesn't everyone? I highly doubt I've left a mark on every single person I've ever met, but maybe a few? Or that could just be wishful thinking. What truly makes a person worth knowing, and does it go hand-in-hand with a person knowing their worth?
What is your worth? Do you know it? Or is it different depending on who you're with or what kind of social setting you're in? My worth, I think, is an enthusiasm for all the things. I will tell you where to get the BEST anything: coffee, fro-yo, brussels sprouts, etc. I've got a list of things to do, foods to try, activities to attempt, holidays to celebrate.
But what one person could find whimsical another could find grating. What could've been an impact two-day friendship for me could be just a work trip acquaintance to her.
I guess you never really know. You know?